another months gone by... 12 days to go :)

So.  I'm really bad at this whole blogging thing apparently.   I don't mean to be... its just that.. well.. life gets in the way.  Don't get me wrong... things are amazing... better than they've been in a really long time... hence why I haven't blogged.  I've been out living my life and enjoying it and just having a freaking blast.

Well.. anyway... last I left off... I was heading to my surgeons to book my date and I was also totally worried about the self sabotage.  When I had gone there on the 12th, I had actually only gained like... 4pounds... not the 10 I thought.   I also booked my date.  May 16th :)  So it's about 12 days from now :)

I went back to the surgeon on the 26th, and I had lost 3 of those 4 pounds I gained and my surgeon was happy to see me back under 300.  Thats the main goal right now... to stay under 300.

I just went back on the 2nd for my 6th and final weigh in at my surgeons before they can submit everything to the insurance company. I'm at 296.  Exactly 50 lbs down from my highest weight in December 2010, which was 346 lbs. 

All thats left now is continuing with my liquid diet.... and waiting to hear from the insurance company.  I plan on calling every other day until I have an answer.  Okay.. maybe everyday.

So... a lot of people have been asking questions.. which I'm fine with, since I've decided to broadcast my surgery EVERYWHERE. lol. many of them are the same:
- Are you scared/nervous?
- Are you sure this is what you want?
- Are you ever going to be able to eat normal again?



To answer them:

No. I'm not scared yet.  I'm sure once I'm in the hospital, on the table.. about to be put under to have major abdominal surgery...  yes... i'll be scared and nervous for those 5 seconds.
I'm more nervous and scared about not doing this and not being able to live my life the way it should be lived.

I'm absitively, posolutely, 141092849085290385206776549% sure this is what I want. 

Yes. I will be able to eat normally again.  Not for the first few months.. maybe not even for the first year... and maybe I won't be able to eat certain foods ever again.  But .. I will be able to sit down and have a normal portion sized meal after this surgery.  At this point though.. my last concern is food.

I am so freaking excited about this!!!!!!!