Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The other shoe...

Before I get into the topic of "the other shoe" ....  I'll do my weekly weigh in first :)  This is weekly weigh in #4

So... I somehow managed to lose 6 pounds this week.  I have no idea what I did differently (because truth is that nothing was actually different).  But... I lost 6 pounds.

That puts my totals at:
83# down since surgery 5/16/11
131# down since December 2010 (my heighest weight)

I cannot believe how close I am to onderland :)  16 lbs.  insane.  in theory I can be there in like... 1 month.  I'm going to try to not think about it though because when I think about things... I screw it up.  I get way into my head about things and over analyze things and just muck it all up.

Lately... I've been trying to take life like.. an hour at a time.  Which leads me to my "the other shoe" topic.

In reference to the other shoe situations... the phrase is usually "waiting for the other shoe to drop" ...like theres an anticipation of something happening.  Most of the time... at least when I use this phrase... its not typically a good situation. I typically use this phrase when things in my life are going phenomenally well ... and its almost too good to be true.

Its like waiting for a bomb.  When the other shoe drops... the bomb sets off.  So I've been having a feeling for a few weeks that something was going to happen... and I was recently having this conversation with nicole (like.. last tuesday) and I was saying that I feel like my life is going really well and I was nervous about it because when ever things are awesome... the shoe drops and something catastrophic usually happens.  On Thursday... I called my mom to chat, and she told me she was laid off from her job that she's been with for about 21-22 years.  She was devastated, obviously, and I feel awful for her. 

So.. while this shoe drop isn't directly about me... it does affect me. (effect me?.... I never know which to use...) So.. does this mean I'm safe from my own shoe dropping situation... or is something serious going to happen to my life directly?  Do other people think about this?

Well... anyway... so my mother lost her job ... which for her wasnt just a job. It was her career, her livelihood... she LOVED what she did .  Her main concern?  The health insurance.  Mainly for me.  Because I have to have my follow ups and labs done and all of that. 

So I called my surgeons office up, and I explained the situation and they told me not to worry.  They'll take care of everything for me. 

Being able to call them, crying, because I'm upset for my mom, and now nervous about whats going to happen... and having them tell me everything is okay and not to worry ... and assured me that my care will not stop and not be jeopardized... just meant the world to me. 

I think it is so incredibly important to have support system in your surgeon and the support groups.  Plus, in my surgeons office... almost all of his staff have been his patients, so they are empathetic (thanks arwen) to the situation and can relate. 

Being one of the youngest people at my support group also... I've gained like... 15 moms. Which is incredible, because .... they just take you under their wing.  No questions asked.  No gimmicks.  I totally look forward to the 2nd and 4th tuesday of every month for these meetings <3

Speaking of support...  (and this is kind of like last week's blog) ... I have friends that I havent seen in years... and I saw them this past weekend... and they kept telling me how proud they are of me and how happy they are for me... and it just means so much.  and I love them dearly and I'm so glad I got to see them and catch up <3

Sorry this blog was kind of all over the place... the trains of thoughts just kept coming into the station :)

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

When you least expect it.... (lots of pictures :D)

First I'll do my weekly weigh in :) ... After talking to nutrition about my carb problem she said to start off slow and add a fruit or a veggie to one or two meals a day.  Then keep adding a fruit or a veg to each meal and slowly but surely, I'll be getting in what she wants.  I'm at about one or two meals a day.  I'm trying to do one fruit and one veg a day.  I'm working on it.

Today I weighed in at :
So I'm right on track with what my surgeon and nutritionist want with the 2lb a week weight loss (even though I'd like to be losing more a week... this is where they want me at).

This puts my loss at a grand total of : 125lbs.  And my Since Surgery total:  77lbs :)

125 pounds.   I've lost... 

One Maggie Gyllenhall


One Taylor Swift

(Celebrity weights courtesy of : http://www.howmuchdotheyweigh.com/)

Losing the inches and inching closer to goal :)

So... I'd just like to talk about support from people where I least expected it.  Clearly... I'm extremely open about my surgery.  I've said this many times, and I'll say it again... as long as someone will stand still long enough to let me tell them about it... I will.

So I have told perfect strangers about it.  Like when I went pumpkin picking and wine tasting with Steph, Lesli and Erin this weekend.  I clearly am not drinking.  So when we were at one of the wineries... and one of their friends who works there (Steph and Lesli go often so they make friends lol , love you guys) asked why I can't drink, originally thinking it was because I was underage- since Lesli said "Oh the little one can't drink" lol... So I explained that I recently had gastric bypass and she got all excited for me and kept congratulating me. 

I get this a lot from the strangers I tell... but I can who is just saying it to say it... or those who have a genuine sense of happiness for me, even without knowing me.  This woman was genuinely happy for me.  Her face when I showed her one of my before and afters was awesome.

Its moments like that... that wipe away all the negativity that I've gotten from the surgery.

 So... my bottom line is... ts just really nice to have support from people who don't even know you, when certain friends or family may have let you down, or hurt you regarding the surgery. 

Now please enjoy some pics from my unexpected day at the beach with Megan in october when it was 85 degrees...

Our picnic lunch :)

MeggyMoo and I <3

The super awesome sand castle all the naked people built on the naked beach

Fire Island Light House :)

We're adorable

I've lived 20 minutes from this all my life, and have never gone to the top.  New goal? I think so:)

Sunset in the traffic <3

Sunset over the bridge

A little NSV... being able to sit cross-legged in Megan's front seat and not feel squished :)

Anddddd here are some pics from my first time carving a pumpkin :)

We're funny :)

Friday, October 7, 2011

NSV!!!! and giveaways!!

So yesterday I had a new NSV happen... I fit into a size 18 jean from old navy!

Speaking of jeans... lets talk about how places change their sizes.  Because Nicole had given me two pairs of jeans from old navy.  Both marked size 14.   One was SIGNIFICANTLY larger than the other.  So much so that the larger pair fits me perfectly.  Like the 18s I have on in the picture.  The other 14s I can barely get up my thigh.  So either they are mismarked... like WHOA... or Old Navy (like other stores) 'switch' sizes as the years go on.  The question is... which way are they going?  Are they making bigger sizes smaller? Or smaller sizes bigger? 

Regardless... I'm super happy with my  decision because I'm super excited about life now and I still can't believe I'm going to be getting smaller.  While talking with my nutritionist the other day  I had said I'm only like... 80-90 lbs away from goal.  And she looked at me with a crooked face and asked me what my goal was... I said between 130-140. Thats where Dr. K said I could most likely get down to.  She was like... I'd even go as high as one 150.  So everyone has different goals for me.  I'll take somewhere in the middle... like 135-145. lol.  Regardless... I'm more than half way towards my goal already!  SOOOO CRAZY!

Now... anyone who knows anything about WLS ... especially RNY... knows the importance of vitamins.  Vitamins are *key* in a healthy post-op life :)  With that said... Eggface is doing an amazing giveaway to make sure we all stay healthy!

She is giving away a Celebrate vitamins gift basket loaded with TONS of goodies and new products! 

Everyone go check out her blog and enter her contest!!! 

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Weekly weigh in...

So... here is my weekly weigh in for week #2 of *official* weigh ins

Last week I weighed in at 227.

This week I am ... 

Thats 4 lbs in a week :)   Bringing my grand total to 123lbs.  My total since surgery (20 weeks ago) is 75 lbs.


So thats that.

Now... here are some foods that I've been playing with and what not.  I've been seriously cravin' the bacon.

So... I got the precooked bacon.  Making bacon to me ... is a pain the ass.  and its ALWAYS too greasy no matter how many paper towels I lay them on.  So I get the precooked stuff 'cause it makes my life easier and I can get my super crispy bacon without burning it.  Win all around :)

Serving size is 4 slices.  I use 2.  Thats all I really need.

Nutritional info for 2 slices (1/2 a serving)
Cal: 35
Fat: 3g
Carbs: 0
Protein: 2.5

So this has been a staple in my diet the past few days....  I'm not sure if its just because I want new things or because I want the salt... who knows.  But I want bacon.

With bacon I've made a WLS friend Turkery Bacon Cheeseburger (Yes, WLSers... we can haz a cheezburger)

4 ounces of seasoned (to your liking) ground turkey meat... 93/7.  1/3 cup of the WW mexican blend shredded cheese (i'm not a cheese snob.  I  LOVE cheese and I wouldn't lose a pound if I ate regular cheese at the rate at which I eat cheese and I LOVE the way the WW cheeses taste) topped with two slices of bacon.  (the 4 ounces of meat worked out to be a 3 oz burger depending on how you cook it)

Nutritional info (for the whole 3oz burger with cheese and bacon)
Cal: 228
Fat: 14
Carbs: 0
Protein: 29

The second thing I made is ... pretty much the exact same thing but with chicken.

I use the Perdue perfect chicken breasts  (this one was italian style).  A few minutes of George foreman...  melt the cheese on top in the microwave ... add the bacon... voila! you have Outback's Alice Springs Chicken (minus the mushrooms)

Nutrition info:
Cal: 255
Fat: 9.5
Carbs: 2
Protein: 35.5

Now... I'm sure you're all wondering.. where's the veggies?  well.. I have a problem with veggies.  I always get so full on my protein dishes... that I can never factor in the veggie, or... complex carbs. 

I'm seeing nutrition tomorrow regarding this because I *know* I need to work in complex carbs somehow... but I need suggestions and what not.  Its really hard eating a balanced diet when you're SO focused on the protein.  

And also... when you have an irrational fear of food like I have been dealing with.  So yeah... thats that.  I'll keep you posted with that...

Yeah.  I just bought that mirror in the picture on the right.. and it broke while I was trying to get it into my car.  What do you expect from a mirror that was 5 bucks at target?  

I feel like since I lost weight... I *look* longer.  I know I'm not taller... but I feel like I look like I look taller. 

I also never thought I've ever wear a dress that short with over the knee riding boots.  I LOVE those boots.  SUPER comfy. 

To quote myself from support group last tuesday...

I've always been confident. At 346 pounds I thought I was the shit. And now ... I still think im the shit. You don't like it. Tough" 

I LOVE myself SO much more than I used to.  I no longer think so little of myself.  I know what I'm capable of and what I deserve and I deserve SO much more than I've settled for in the past.  I haven't been this happy in YEARS.  

And I'm just awesome.  And I will continue to tell myself that and not give a damn about anyone whose gunna hate.