The other shoe...

Before I get into the topic of "the other shoe" ....  I'll do my weekly weigh in first :)  This is weekly weigh in #4

So... I somehow managed to lose 6 pounds this week.  I have no idea what I did differently (because truth is that nothing was actually different).  But... I lost 6 pounds.

That puts my totals at:
83# down since surgery 5/16/11
131# down since December 2010 (my heighest weight)

I cannot believe how close I am to onderland :)  16 lbs.  insane.  in theory I can be there in like... 1 month.  I'm going to try to not think about it though because when I think about things... I screw it up.  I get way into my head about things and over analyze things and just muck it all up.




Lately... I've been trying to take life like.. an hour at a time.  Which leads me to my "the other shoe" topic.

In reference to the other shoe situations... the phrase is usually "waiting for the other shoe to drop" ...like theres an anticipation of something happening.  Most of the time... at least when I use this phrase... its not typically a good situation. I typically use this phrase when things in my life are going phenomenally well ... and its almost too good to be true.

Its like waiting for a bomb.  When the other shoe drops... the bomb sets off.  So I've been having a feeling for a few weeks that something was going to happen... and I was recently having this conversation with nicole (like.. last tuesday) and I was saying that I feel like my life is going really well and I was nervous about it because when ever things are awesome... the shoe drops and something catastrophic usually happens.  On Thursday... I called my mom to chat, and she told me she was laid off from her job that she's been with for about 21-22 years.  She was devastated, obviously, and I feel awful for her. 

So.. while this shoe drop isn't directly about me... it does affect me. (effect me?.... I never know which to use...) So.. does this mean I'm safe from my own shoe dropping situation... or is something serious going to happen to my life directly?  Do other people think about this?

Well... anyway... so my mother lost her job ... which for her wasnt just a job. It was her career, her livelihood... she LOVED what she did .  Her main concern?  The health insurance.  Mainly for me.  Because I have to have my follow ups and labs done and all of that. 

So I called my surgeons office up, and I explained the situation and they told me not to worry.  They'll take care of everything for me. 

Being able to call them, crying, because I'm upset for my mom, and now nervous about whats going to happen... and having them tell me everything is okay and not to worry ... and assured me that my care will not stop and not be jeopardized... just meant the world to me. 

I think it is so incredibly important to have support system in your surgeon and the support groups.  Plus, in my surgeons office... almost all of his staff have been his patients, so they are empathetic (thanks arwen) to the situation and can relate. 

Being one of the youngest people at my support group also... I've gained like... 15 moms. Which is incredible, because .... they just take you under their wing.  No questions asked.  No gimmicks.  I totally look forward to the 2nd and 4th tuesday of every month for these meetings <3


Speaking of support...  (and this is kind of like last week's blog) ... I have friends that I havent seen in years... and I saw them this past weekend... and they kept telling me how proud they are of me and how happy they are for me... and it just means so much.  and I love them dearly and I'm so glad I got to see them and catch up <3

Sorry this blog was kind of all over the place... the trains of thoughts just kept coming into the station :)