So… its been a few days and what not since my last blog. I’ve had some things going on and really just haven’t had the time to blog.
I’ve been following a lot of different blogs on here regarding WLS and the before and after life of it. Almost all of them have a “my story” section talking about their struggles with their weight and what ultimately led them to WLS. So I guess… That’s what this blog will be about.
First.. let me start of by saying... I grew up an only child. I was basically a latch-key kid and food was my friend. I would come home to an empty apartment ( my landlord was home, and she would check on me... but i was there alone most of the time) ... so I would have a snack, and do my homework, and then find something to munch on. Because I was lonely. And.. I grew up in a house of enormous proportions. My mom always cooked enough food for 8 people.. and I grew up with my dad who was always extremely morbidly obese, who could eat 6 slices of pizza on his own... and my mom... who was a huge advocate for second helpings... so I was just always used to eating larger portions. So .. aside from my emotional eating.. my portions were always out of control.
I was always a chubby kid. Since I’m like 3 years old, all the pictures of me are a little chunk. My mother always blamed my father for my weight gain. He was the one who was home with me and he never cooked so it was always fast food and crap. I guess I should also mention both my parents are extremely morbidly obese, so their habits definitely influenced me.
Regardless of whether or not it really is my father’s fault ultimately… I was always chubby. But I was also always active. I was a baton twirler, I danced (tap, ballet and jazz) and I did gymnastics. I also had a brief stint of cheerleading, but it interfered with twirling and I liked twirling better.
At 7 years old my mom put me in weight watchers. I was the only kid there to be weighed in, not just because their mom couldn’t get a sitter. I remember it was the summer before I started 3rd grade, and my mom and I were walking into pathmark, and she had said to me “You can loose the weight now, and everyone would be like WOW is that you? You look so good”. That’s something that has ALWAYS stuck with me.
As I got older, the pounds kept coming on. No matter what I did, ate, worked out… the number on the scale crept up. By the time I was in 8th grade, I was 240 lbs. After my parents got divorced, it was even worse. I ate my emotions. Then I started binging and purging or not eating at all. Not even starvation helped me lose weight. (Later I learned that in periods of starvation is when your body holds on to what it can for nutrients and energy).
Fast forward to being 19… I was about 290ish. Give or take an Oreo. After trying everything and working out and dieting… I had finally decided to do something. So I started going to the gym on my own and working out. The first 15 lbs came off pretty quickly. I started eating better and working out. Then I started seeing a nutritionist and he had put me on a super strict “bird food” diet. I had dropped about 40 lbs on that diet…And I was down about 70lbs total… but I was eating like… nothing. It was so strict… it was awful. Once I started adding back in foods… (with my nutritionist’s guidance) I started putting weight back on.
I had also started dating someone around this time… and thennnnnn that’s when the drama happened. I had stopped going to the gym so I could spend time with him, and we had gone out to dinner, and he would make me food (he was such a good cook) and there were nights we’d sit on the couch and share a pint of Ben and jerry’s. We were fat asses. Not even gunna lie. Then… when the break up happened… I really ate my feelings. My weight skyrocketed… up to 318. Then over the past 2 years… it had gone up and I topped out at 346.
I’m now down to around 312ish and I would like to be under 300 prior to my surgery. The reason why I'm having the surgery... is because I can never seem to keep the weight off. So... my RNY will be a tool to help me.
So.. that’s my story. A very modified, censored , spark notes version of my story.