All the post-op what ifs are coming into my brain, setting up shop, and driving me crazy.
I saw my family last night for the first time really since my surgery and they all kept saying how great I look and asking me how much I lost so far and if I feel different.
What they don't know is that in my head I'm freaking the fuck out because I don't see a difference, I don't feel any different, and I have no idea how much I lost since my last dr appointment because A: I don't own a scale and B: I'm terrified to step on a scale because I don't think I've lost anything since my last appointment.
I was joking around with mom yesterday and I said I don't feel any different and I think my pouch is broken. I know this is all the post-op crazies coming into play and I know that the weight WILL come off, and my pouch isn't broken. I know this all LOGICALLY, but my crazy still comes out and I knew this would happen ... because thats what happens.
I was talking to Joanne about instant gratification (IG) stuff because we were talking about how we just want things NOW. And IG has always been an issue for me. I want it and I want it now, think Veruca Salt with the golden geese... Yeah. I knew the surgery wasn't a quick fix... I knew that it will still take time and everything... I just wish I could see the difference.
And on top of the crazy... I'm hormonal as ALLLL HELLLL.
ANNDDDDD ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO TO THE GYM!!!!!!