Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Getaways and Apostrophies.

So really there are no words to describe this weekend. So I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Bottom line: i have amazing friends and we had amazing times :)

So my apostrophe.

First let me explain what an apostrophe is.  Anyone ever see the movie hook?

So yeah. Lightening has just struck my brain. And no. It didn't hurt.

(quick backstory)
I've been with plenty of men.  I've only been in a few serious relationships in comparison to the number of men I've slept with. I was the fat girl that put out.  I admit it. I've always been that girl to "take what she can get" and I can honestly say I've never valued my relationships with men and I would let them use me and what not.  So yeah, I have no real concept of a healthy relationship and I have no concept of what love actually is.

So after spending my weekend with several couples (happy couples, normal healthy relationship couples) I realized that I want one.  I'm ready for one.  So that made me start thinking about things and like... I'm worth so much more than I used to think. I have a different type of confidence. It's not a confidence in my sexual acts anymore. It's a confidence in myself that I've never had before. I've realized I want to be more than a number to a guy and I don't want him to like me just because I put out. So I just realized like ... I deserve so much more than a hook up and guy who treats me like shit. Like before my surgery I never realized how much I devalued sex and love and everything.

However, my biggest thing is this: I want it to happen organically.  I'm not settling for anything anymore. 

So yeah. Thats my apostrophe.  I think I mean epiphany.

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