Thursday, August 4, 2011

oh the things you're about to read!

So... theres SO much stuff floating around in this head of mine, that the hamster on its wheel has no idea even where to start.  I like to think of my head to a place that no one really wants to be. See... theres a hamster inside riding around on his wheel and sometimes he has these moments where he goes into overdrive ... very much similar to this little guy seen here.  I also refer to it as the hamsters office and he doesn't like file cabinets so there is just a FUCKTON of post-it notes everywhere.  And one little purple lamp.  So right now I'm trying to sort through the post-its of all the things I wanted to blog about and am trying to make sense of some of the things. This is probably gunna be a long one... so brace yourselves. 

So I guess I'll start with food.  As you know... I have serious issues with food now and I really just hate eating.  I'm getting better with it... but its still really hard.  I went from one extreme relationship with food where it was everything to me.  Food was my best friend. It always had been. For me to try and pretend that food and I didn't have a love affair for almost 23 years would just be a lie and lying is not okay. Anyway... So yeah.. me and food.. we were tight.  Then I went on my pre-op diet to drop the weight I needed to before my surgery... and I developed a more normal, but not quite normal relationship with food where it was more of a "eat to live, not live to eat" thing.  Now that I actually HAVE to eat to live... I am never hungry... and throughout the aforementioned pre-op diet... I trained myself to not eat if I wasn't hungry... so I'm sure you can guess where I'm going here. So since I'm not hungry... I don't eat.  I've written about this before so everyone should be like yeah, we know.  Anyway... Like I said.... I'm getting better when it comes to food.  I'm exploring more and Im expanding my pallet.   My new favorite thing is Non-fat Greek yogurt (I like Fage and Chobani the best) mixed with PB2. Its defatted, powdered peanut butter. Its awesome and it makes the yogurt even more delicious! And it comes out to be like... Less than 200 calories, like no fat... less than 15 carbs, 5 sugars and 23 grams of protein!  Its quite delicious . Seriously.  Try it.  You'll like it. But yeah... I'm getting better with food and I'm getting in my protein (almost) every day.  I'm really trying here.

So food is done.  Next is work outs:  I started taking Krav Maga and Kickboxing.  So far I've only been to two classes, because my schedules a little messed up lately, but I'm trying to get into the swing of things. Krav Maga is super intense and I love it.  Its pretty awesome. I can't wait to learn more and to build up strength and really get into it.  I am also planning to start doing the C25K program with the help and support of two of my WLS blogger friends, Sam and Christina who are awesome and have awesome blogs and you should read them because I said so. 

Which leads me to my next topic: friends and support. 

97% of my "real life" friends... have been incredibly supportive. And my WLS friends I've made through the interwebs... I love each and everyone of you <3 Fo' Reelz. But seriously... So supportive.. all of you.   Like.. So unbelievably supportive it makes me want to cry and hug every single one of you little pretty cupcake ponies. (what, I get my nicknaming skills from Jenna Marbles ... youtube her. You'll piss your pants laughing)

2% of my friends I still dont think have realized that I had RNY and are just clueless.

And 1% of you I'm ready to dump because you're being that fact catty supportive and the backhanded comments and the competing and the bullshit needs to stop.  In fact... you probably know who you are, and I've been pretty patient until now... but... its wearing thin and the next backhanded comment I get from any of you or the next time you're just a fuckface and nasty and uncalled for... I'm calling you out on your bs. I didn't do this as a personal attack against you or anything. I did this for ME.  For my health. And the fact that you bitches can't be supportive of me changing my life for the better... really hurts.

And now that that is over... I am 1lbs away from being 100lbs down since december!  I'm uber excited about this :)

 Here are some comparison pictures:

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